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I’m done with the Christian perpetuation of a masculine God. I’m embracing Madre Diosa, Mujer Divina, because in Her I am whole.

This is not an attempt on my part to re-assign a gender to the Divine, rather to challenge the problematic theological parameters placed around the Divine that are responsible for systemizing patriarchy and for breeding all facets of figurative and literal femicide. It’s an attempt to widen the doors through which Mujeres, chingonas, putas, brujas, non-gender conforming beauties, and even men can engage with the Loving Mystery and find healing from the toxicity of patriarchal religion.

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Two years ago I engaged in a conversation with a friend who tried profusely to convince me that God is male. I indulged the conversation – maybe for too long – because while it disturbed my core I was oddly fascinated by what I was hearing. Everything that came out of his mouth was insulting my very existence, particularly when he insinuated that my humanity amounted to less than his simply because I am a Mujer.

As if the Divine has a dick.

This theological orientation of a masculine Triune God is the very fabric of Christian culture. Even in the three positions of the one Divine office, masculinity dominates all three seats, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

We live in a culture where our exchange with the Divine, the Creatrix, the Loving Mystery is established as relating to a male figure. The same way Western Christianity is inscribed by whiteness only making space for whiteness to thrive, Christianity is also inscribed by masculinity only making space for men to thrive. And in both circumstances comes the cost of life.

 

DISMEMBERING HER BODY.

Whenever I brought up the dialogue of Mujerismo missing from the Divine, spiritual leaders were quick to tack on “female like qualities” to God, like His tenderness, His selflessness, and His care for His children. But the idea of releasing the Divine from the male gender was blasphemous.

And the “female qualities” they tacked onto God were and continue to be the expected behavior for Mujeres in relationship to men. By doing so, the church glorifies and perpetuates the martyrdom of Mujeres.

Despite a Mujer’s agency to act on behalf of her own benefit or choose the benefit of others, the parameters made for her to not just survive and exist in the world but to wholly be in the world limit her to damnation or death. The illusion of agency condemns the prostitute.

Because the church orbits around a male God, Mujeres are actively being indoctrinated and suppressed from living their full Creatrix potential outside the definitions of man. But what is to live and not be whole?

“When he went into his house, he took a knife. He took hold of his woman and cut her into twelve pieces, arm by arm, leg by leg. Then he sent her out through all the land of Israel.”  – Judges 19: 29

 

HER BLOOD.

Because of Her blood, Her labor, pains and pushing, we are here; we are whole.

She birthed this earth and breathes into existence everything in it. She’s a Creatrix of culture and transformer of culture. She brings into consciousness and shares Her intellectual power. She is an active agent in Her creativity.

Her commitment is to preserve creation and life, to the keeping of safety and freedom. Life is what She intended and life is what She pours Herself out for.

She is Malinche and Maria, Shiphrah and Puah, Sor Juana y la indocumentada; Mujeres making decisions to access life for themselves and for others.

In Her agency, Her martyrdom is the life of Her motherhood.

Her giving does not come at the hands of torture, murder, and dismemberment. Her resistance is to capitalism and militant male religious order exploiting and converting selflessness into  submissiveness and slavery. That is Madre Diosa’s resistance, the contortion of Her loving image to one of colonial endeavors. Her fight is against death and borders, to end hunger and thirst, to make space for all that no one be a stranger.

Embracing Madre Diosa reorients my life. Being made in Her image actually means something and I am for once completely visible in my entirety. I am empowered, not exploited. I am good, not complicated. Her Creatrix power is in me, so I don’t just provide a hermeneutical interpretation with my Latina lens, I embody Her and my creative power rewrites the indoctrination of patriarchal religion.

For those whom male theological orientations of the Divine have damaged your connection with this Loving Mystery, know that Her chingona Creatrix power is within you too.

 

RECEIVING THE BREAD OF HER BODY.

Men who are sincere about relinquishing male privilege and power will demonstrate so by allowing Mujeres to redefine their entire way of living and their way of worship.

Any church that gives a single fuck about dismantling patriarchy and militant male religious order will allow Mujeres to redefine their ministerial theories and praxis; the Divine, the Creatrix, the Loving Mystery would be released of gender binary ideologies; and the conversation regarding our LGBTQ family will take a turn in the church.

 

So to all the men who commit their fight to justice but leave Mujeres to bleed and die,

To the Christian man who kissed my neck with a knife at hand,

To the Christian man who never hears my voice or honors my needs,

To the Christian man who silences me and makes me question myself,

To the Christian man that trashed my trust and broke my heart,

To the Christian leader who crossed the line without “crossing the line,”

To the Pastor that abused his power to emotionally cumm all over me without my consent,

To the man who grabbed my body without my consent,

To the man who cat calls and smacks his lips, who undresses me with his stare and touches me with his words,

 

I pray to Madre Diosa, that She dismantle every part of your masculinity and heal you with Her femme and fierce being.

 

Feliz dia de la Madre,
Yolanda

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